The Chairs of Twilight
by Mae017
Summary: Chairs need to express their feelings, they have been hidden underneath everyone for a while now...  Horror because of the very last couch's experience. Poor couch...


**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight... *Sob***

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Chairs Do Have Feelings!

** Charlie's Recliner: Bud  
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*Clears throat* Uhh... Hey, um yeah.. My names Bud. You know like the beer Bud light... The Couch, Claire, named me that because of all the time Charlie has spilled it on me... I like Charlie, he's a nice enough owner. I'm just happy I am no longer at the Furniture store anymore. I hated it when all the other Chairs fluffed their cushions when some on came in... Anyway... I may have some rips and tears, especially since that boy Edmond... No, Edward started coming over, Charlie has just been diggin' his nails into my arms whenever he see's his daughter and that boy together. His Daughter, Bella, is wonderful, I love her, She stitches up all my holes about once a month. Edwin is never around when she does and I like it that way, that time is our bonding time. Afterward she sits down right on my cushion and watches on of her movies and when she cries I fluff up my stuffing just for her. I like my life...

**Bella's Rocking Chair: Ba!**

Hiya! My name is Ba! Bella named me when she was just a baby. She would slap her little palm on my seat and yell "Ba! Ba! Ba!" so it sort of stuck that way. Charlie and I were so sad when her mother took her away from us. For a long time he would come into Bella's room, look around and cry. I would just hold him and rock him back and forth trying to comfort him. A few years later I would see Bella during the summer, everytime I was astound at how much she had grown up! And slowly things started to be moved from the room, like Mr. Twinkle Bella's crib and Sir Changealot, her changing table. I miss my friends but Lacy the curtains always stayed and kept me company when we got new, immature pieces of furniture. About 16 or 17 years after Bella was taken away she came back! Lacy and I celebrated. We were so glade to have our girl back. Then she got a boyfriend... Edward. I like him, sort of. He might have a fine ass, Oh excuse my language, but it in rock hard and uncomfortable. He would sometimes watch our girl sleep sitting on my seat or go curl up next to her. The are so cute together... But then one day he stopped coming and my sweet girl started to have nightmares, screaming out in her sleep and sometimes falling off the bed. Charlie would come and check on her, waking her up and then sitting on me and watch her for awhile. He felt so helpless...

**The Cullen "Living" Room Chair: Secret  
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Do you have a secret? I can keep it for you! I swear I wont tell the kitchen appliances**. **They will just mix up your words and spread them like spreading icing all over a cake... Cake... yum.. *snap* Oh sorry! I just love cake SOOO much. Anyway, yeah, I good at keeping secrets, hence the name, I'm the only one that can and I'm proud of it. Hmmm... What? Oh! My favorite Cullen? That would have to be Carlisle**. **He's just so delicious that I just want to eat him up. He's so gentle when he sits down and he pets my arm... it makes me want to purr. He is so unlike that Emmett creature. The one called Emmett is so mean to me, he just flops right down onto me and it hurts. One time he actually broke my arm. Carlisle's wife Esme chewed him a new one when that happened. When I was all fix the sweet little Bella came over and saw my stitches, she had asked what had happened and when she found out she also yelled at The Creature. He looked so scared, that was one thing I didn't mind telling the others about, the fear on his face when the tiny human girl finished yelling. So wonderful. The Cullen House is always interesting...

**The Bar Stools: Jack, Kathy, and Jim... Poor Kathy...**

Hello! Just a sec. 'Jim, Jack! Shut up! I'm trying to talk to this nice lady!' Sorry about that, they never shut up. I get so frustrated sometimes. It's either Jim wanting to switch with jack because he doesn't want to be sat on with Emmett's ass or Jack wanting to switch with Jim because Bella is coming over and always sits on the right side, a.k.a. Jim. Oh well at least when sits down Edward sits right next to her, on moi! I love Edward's beautiful tush, so nice and firm... Yummy! Anyway you have NO idea what living in the kitchen is like! The appliances are always jabbering away making it hard to sleep, sometimes I wish i could get up and just destroy them... bash them all into little pieces... after I'm done in the kitchen I could go through the whole house... and then the city... the state... the... THE WORLD! *evil laugh*... *cough* *cough* sorry about that I get a little carried away sometimes...

**Rosalie and Emmett's Chair in their bed room: Boob**

I am Boob. I am a man chair so don't you think otherwise. I know many tricks if you know what I'm saying...Rosalie and Emmett get it on so much that I know that sex has nothing to do with birds or bees. Sometimes they use me, not that I'm complaining. i get I few broken supports sometimes, Oh well I don't mind it rough most of the time. I know that my time is coming soon the rest in Chair Heaven, I don't mind, I have the best way to go. When I find my Chairmate someday I know that I will be able to do what ever she want, ya know *wiggles chair eyebrows*. Your probably wondering why my name is Boob. Well here it is... I named myself, before I was experienced and new what I boob was. When They first brought me home I was so UN-experienced that when Emmett said Boob I liked the word I decided that would be my name. Oh look here come Rosalie and Emmett! I love my life...

**Mike Newton's Chair: Disturbia **

NO! I can't take this anymore! I hate my life! Why did Newton have to pick me when he bought a chair... *sob* I used to be happy with all my friends but then this weird child had to pick me why couldn't he of picked Fred or Gorge of someone else! I have been so disturbed by this child that I changed my name to Disturbia, it used to be David but then that first time he took out those pictures and.. and.. and touched himself I was scared for life. A few months after he bought me he would pull out photographs of this beautiful brown-haired girl. In the pictures she seems unaware of the camera. He seemed to wait until his parents had gone to sleep or gone out when he brought these pictures out, whereas be for he was quite when he... pleasured himself, he out all but scream this girls name out. I feel so bad for her, from Mikes crazy mutterings it seems that she has a boyfriend. Poor Girl... Oh NO! Here he comes! No! No! NO! Not those photos please NO...

**Fin!**

**Anyone Guess who the girl is in the Picture?  
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Please Review it would make my day! :-)


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